Muthogfem is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, astonishing guinea pig.

Muthogfem created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Muthogfem, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Muthogfem, it will turn you into a frog.

Muthogfem's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Muthogfem's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Muthogfem.

2. Always obey Muthogfem's priests.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near hamsters while wearing purple stockings and balancing six carbon spheres on your face.

5. Never think about galaxies.