Lopomtdab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, narcissistic finch.

Lopomtdab created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lopomtdab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lopomtdab, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lopomtdab's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Lopomtdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Lopomtdab loves mites, so they must be respected.

5. Do not covet oxen.