Kapyimcip is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, kind fox.

Kapyimcip created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapyimcip, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kapyimcip, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Kapyimcip's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kapyimcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Do not resist balance.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kapyimcip.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.