Somwoncinont is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, benevolent narwhal.

Somwoncinont created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Somwoncinont, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Somwoncinont, it will turn you into a tree.

Somwoncinont's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Somwoncinont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during summer.

2. Never hurt grasshopers.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always act with humility when addressing strangers.

5. Never mention swans.