Zedfabflatstragmat is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, dishonourable crane.

Zedfabflatstragmat created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedfabflatstragmat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zedfabflatstragmat, she will throw large rocks at you.

Zedfabflatstragmat's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Zedfabflatstragmat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight mites in a large pit.

2. Never think ill of sick eagles.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

5. Do not sing in public.