Bapfatlenflat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, sapient gorilla.

Bapfatlenflat created parasitic wasps three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapfatlenflat, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bapfatlenflat, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bapfatlenflat's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bapfatlenflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.