Likarfflap Nartdavquillced Futwotton is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, witty ant.

Likarfflap Nartdavquillced Futwotton created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Likarfflap Nartdavquillced Futwotton, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Likarfflap Nartdavquillced Futwotton, she will destroy your favourite star.

Likarfflap Nartdavquillced Futwotton's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Likarfflap Nartdavquillced Futwotton's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Hide from orange porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Worship no other gods but Likarfflap Nartdavquillced Futwotton.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Always help hamsters in need.