Tigpinqueegbog is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, kind giraffe.

Tigpinqueegbog created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigpinqueegbog, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tigpinqueegbog, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tigpinqueegbog's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tigpinqueegbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt squirrels.

2. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never wear white scarves.

4. Never paint your chest cyan.

5. Never eat rice.