Sismum is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, temperamental dugong.

Sismum created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sismum, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sismum, it will make you grow a tail.

Sismum's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Sismum's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine pigs near bridges.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near turtles while wearing magenta scarves and balancing four nickel spheres on your arms.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never skip near seals.

5. Never paint your hands pink.