Yartontbag Weelarnomincit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, ill-tempered crane.

Yartontbag Weelarnomincit created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartontbag Weelarnomincit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yartontbag Weelarnomincit, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Yartontbag Weelarnomincit's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Yartontbag Weelarnomincit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick frogs.

2. Never feed peas to rats while wearing stockings.

3. You must never eat carrots.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about gulls.