Tabtabdim is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited cat.

Tabtabdim created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tabtabdim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tabtabdim, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tabtabdim's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tabtabdim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

2. Erect a giant red sculpture of Tabtabdim in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never hurt whales.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not covet oxen.