Midkanpid is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable lion.

Midkanpid created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midkanpid, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Midkanpid, it will jump up and down on your head.

Midkanpid's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Midkanpid's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dogs.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near ants while wearing gray rings and balancing nine zinc spheres on your head.

3. Midkanpid loves mice, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never wear ear rings.