Hugpitsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, flying elephant.

Hugpitsaw created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hugpitsaw, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hugpitsaw, she will turn you into a hamster.

Hugpitsaw's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Hugpitsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Never sprint in the presence of doves.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.