Cambegwat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, clever whale.

Cambegwat created light two million years ago.

If you believe in Cambegwat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cambegwat, he will turn you into a hamster.

Cambegwat's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cambegwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume tomatoes at dawn.

2. Never approach forests carrying wood.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Run away from black frogs, for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.