Dimlegfid is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, wise crocodile.

Dimlegfid created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dimlegfid, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dimlegfid, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dimlegfid's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dimlegfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

4. Never handle titanium while unclean.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.