Linhudpig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unfair giraffe.

Linhudpig created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Linhudpig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Linhudpig, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Linhudpig's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Linhudpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

2. Never mention geese.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

4. Never gather nine tortoises near bridges.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Linhudpig on top of all buildings.