Nillsawjop is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet dryad.

Nillsawjop created the Large Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Nillsawjop, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nillsawjop, he will turn you into a worm.

Nillsawjop's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nillsawjop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect four lead sculptures of Nillsawjop on top of important buildings.

3. Never talk about special relativity near dogs while wearing green kilts and balancing seven iron spheres on your feet.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Never talk about sheep.