Badfontun is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, conceited grasshopper.

Badfontun created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Badfontun, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Badfontun, it will turn you into a duck.

Badfontun's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Badfontun's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Badfontun must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

5. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.