Jonlatlik is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, quiet shark.

Jonlatlik created gold two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonlatlik, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jonlatlik, he will turn you into a hamster.

Jonlatlik's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Jonlatlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never hurt manatees.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always help porpoises.