Lincimjarndotfligvin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, flying fish.

Lincimjarndotfligvin created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lincimjarndotfligvin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lincimjarndotfligvin, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Lincimjarndotfligvin's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Lincimjarndotfligvin's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

2. Lincimjarndotfligvin loves doves, so they must be honoured.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not eat lentils.

5. Never eat bark.