Cutrillarp is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, kind gerbil.

Cutrillarp created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutrillarp, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cutrillarp, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Cutrillarp's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Cutrillarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never feed lots of grapes to mites while wearing indigo shorts.

4. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

5. Always wear purple.