Vanbonkbag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, flying alligator.

Vanbonkbag created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Vanbonkbag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vanbonkbag, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Vanbonkbag's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Vanbonkbag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Vanbonkbag in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never gather seven bats near doors.

5. Put Vanbonkbag first in all things.