Jigzenfab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish squirrel.

Jigzenfab created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jigzenfab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jigzenfab, he will curse you with boils.

Jigzenfab's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Jigzenfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never mention swans.