Betkannat is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, egotistical mongoose.

Betkannat created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betkannat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Betkannat, it will not care.

Betkannat's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Betkannat's Holy Commandments

1. Betkannat must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always wear red.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.