Fatpodpak is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, intelligent horse.

Fatpodpak created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Fatpodpak, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fatpodpak, it will remove you from existence.

Fatpodpak's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Fatpodpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dwarf planets.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Do not stand on grass.