Targgidvan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful gorilla.

Targgidvan created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Targgidvan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Targgidvan, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Targgidvan's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Targgidvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think ill of sick ducks.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.