Butbanpon is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unthoughtful walrus.

Butbanpon created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Butbanpon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Butbanpon, he will turn you into a tree.

Butbanpon's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Butbanpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Hide from turquoise horses for they are unholy.