Bamhatcam is a god.
It takes the form of a very heavy, ill-tempered
dugong.
Bamhatcam created Africa eight million years ago.
If you believe in
Bamhatcam, it will look after you all your life.
If you do not believe in
Bamhatcam, it will make you grow a tail.
Bamhatcam's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.
Bamhatcam's Holy Commandments1. Never paint your neck brown.
2. Hide if nine gulls approach from the south.
3. Do not fashion models of living things.
4. Never eat bark.
5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.