Homquillgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, proud yak.

Homquillgeb created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Homquillgeb, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Homquillgeb, he will turn you into a puffin.

Homquillgeb's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Homquillgeb's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

4. Do not keep three manatees in a large pit.

5. Do not drink alcohol.