Rakyakzim is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witless human.

Rakyakzim created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakyakzim, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rakyakzim, he will not invite you to parties.

Rakyakzim's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Rakyakzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

5. Put Rakyakzim first in all things.