Banstankopxuclistlarngid is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, boastful troll.

Banstankopxuclistlarngid created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Banstankopxuclistlarngid, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Banstankopxuclistlarngid, he will turn you into a goat.

Banstankopxuclistlarngid's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Banstankopxuclistlarngid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never feed pineapples to birds while wearing cyan hats.

3. Always help geese.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.