Lanzodlap is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely thin, overgenerous
chicken.
Lanzodlap created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Lanzodlap, he will ignore you forever.
If you do not believe in
Lanzodlap, he will turn you into a rock.
Lanzodlap's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.
Lanzodlap's Holy Commandments1. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.
2. Never paint your face magenta.
3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.
4. Never feed tomatoes to turtles while wearing white rings.
5. Always take life seriously.