Tomarnpon Nartintettirawhomtarwad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, blissful pigeon.

Tomarnpon Nartintettirawhomtarwad created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomarnpon Nartintettirawhomtarwad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tomarnpon Nartintettirawhomtarwad, he will be very sad.

Tomarnpon Nartintettirawhomtarwad's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tomarnpon Nartintettirawhomtarwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tomarnpon Nartintettirawhomtarwad.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.