Logpagsaw is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, omniscient spider.

Logpagsaw created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Logpagsaw, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Logpagsaw, he will turn you into a tree.

Logpagsaw's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Logpagsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never feed coconuts to ants while wearing red skirts.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.