Bintarbassyik is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, overgenerous meerkat.

Bintarbassyik created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bintarbassyik, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bintarbassyik, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bintarbassyik's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bintarbassyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Bintarbassyik loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

3. Hide if six ducks approach from the east.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bintarbassyik.

5. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Bintarbassyik in the centre of the settlement.