Batzanhon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, impressive zebra.

Batzanhon created time and space four billion years ago.

If you believe in Batzanhon, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Batzanhon, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Batzanhon's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Batzanhon's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never feed lots of corn to porpoises while wearing orange skirts.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Batzanhon loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about dark matter.