Bograpfud Tettinartarmcitnillcubqueegboss is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, wise whale.

Bograpfud Tettinartarmcitnillcubqueegboss created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bograpfud Tettinartarmcitnillcubqueegboss, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bograpfud Tettinartarmcitnillcubqueegboss, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Bograpfud Tettinartarmcitnillcubqueegboss' most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bograpfud Tettinartarmcitnillcubqueegboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt gulls.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Do not covet oxen.