Xembarnmid is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, egotistical shark.

Xembarnmid created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xembarnmid, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Xembarnmid, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Xembarnmid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Xembarnmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never sing near capybaras.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think ill of sick birds.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bread.