Wikkikgof is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, wise zebra.

Wikkikgof created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wikkikgof, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wikkikgof, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Wikkikgof's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Wikkikgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about dark energy near foxes while wearing magenta rings.

3. Never hop in the presence of shrews.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Wikkikgof.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.