Ruttjanwig is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, capable snail.

Ruttjanwig created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttjanwig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ruttjanwig, she will not care.

Ruttjanwig's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Ruttjanwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.