Cansatpinvigkimxem is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy dragon.

Cansatpinvigkimxem created the Tadpole Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cansatpinvigkimxem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cansatpinvigkimxem, he will turn you into a rat.

Cansatpinvigkimxem's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Cansatpinvigkimxem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six snails approach from the west.

2. Never point your face toward the north during prayer.

3. Do not step barefoot upon brown earth.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.