Wigbogvag is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humane seal.

Wigbogvag created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigbogvag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wigbogvag, it will turn you into a sheep.

Wigbogvag's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Wigbogvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Put Wigbogvag first in all things.

3. Erect five zinc sculptures of Wigbogvag on top of important buildings.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Do not keep nine monkeys in a large pit.