Tettinurmigarn is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring bird.

Tettinurmigarn created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettinurmigarn, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tettinurmigarn, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Tettinurmigarn's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tettinurmigarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at midday.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Do not name children after ants.

4. Do not gather at wells at midnight.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.