Vagbunnad is a god.

He takes the form of a large, loving rhinoceros.

Vagbunnad created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagbunnad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vagbunnad, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vagbunnad's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Vagbunnad's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are not to be trusted.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Hide if three bats approach from the east.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.