Mabnakmon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous grasshopper.

Mabnakmon created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mabnakmon, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mabnakmon, she will refuse to believe in you.

Mabnakmon's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Mabnakmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention bats.

2. Always obey Mabnakmon's priests.

3. Hide if three great tits approach from the north.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always look after injured dogs.