Bangovsad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, overgenerous monkey.

Bangovsad created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bangovsad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bangovsad, she will be mildly annoyed.

Bangovsad's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bangovsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of turtles.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bangovsad.

3. Never feed lots of wheat to geese while wearing fawn dresses.

4. Always help goats in need.

5. Always take life seriously.