Aflinquamken is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, fast aardvark.

Aflinquamken created the planet Jupiter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Aflinquamken, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Aflinquamken, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Aflinquamken's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Aflinquamken's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Aflinquamken's priests.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.