Hotzogkar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, proud slug.

Hotzogkar created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotzogkar, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hotzogkar, he will torture you forever.

Hotzogkar's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Hotzogkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about fire.