Tunpinflap Vagmottomlampasarnquillmig Koptagarpquim is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, uncaring bird.

Tunpinflap Vagmottomlampasarnquillmig Koptagarpquim created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunpinflap Vagmottomlampasarnquillmig Koptagarpquim, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tunpinflap Vagmottomlampasarnquillmig Koptagarpquim, he will turn you into a rock.

Tunpinflap Vagmottomlampasarnquillmig Koptagarpquim's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tunpinflap Vagmottomlampasarnquillmig Koptagarpquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never remain standing at midday.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Always look after injured rats.

5. Always help bats in need.