Garsidlapdosswegyatdin is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, astonishing otter.

Garsidlapdosswegyatdin created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Garsidlapdosswegyatdin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Garsidlapdosswegyatdin, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Garsidlapdosswegyatdin's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Garsidlapdosswegyatdin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green rats, for they are unholy.

2. Never chant while facing west.

3. Always store garlic above ground.

4. Never eat tomatoes on holy days.

5. Always wear plain ear rings during rituals.