Wiknigquafpodteenzangepgar is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, awesome goat.

Wiknigquafpodteenzangepgar created Africa seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wiknigquafpodteenzangepgar, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wiknigquafpodteenzangepgar, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Wiknigquafpodteenzangepgar's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Wiknigquafpodteenzangepgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of lentils to ducks while wearing black corsets.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Mice are not to be trusted.

5. Always help squirrels.