Nuttflismeg is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, strong penguin.

Nuttflismeg created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttflismeg, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nuttflismeg, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nuttflismeg's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Nuttflismeg's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nuttflismeg first in all things.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Nuttflismeg in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

4. Remain standing during prayer.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.