Badbellnullagstiktik is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, self-confident monkey.

Badbellnullagstiktik created an electron six billion years ago.

If you believe in Badbellnullagstiktik, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Badbellnullagstiktik, it will manifest in front of you.

Badbellnullagstiktik's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Badbellnullagstiktik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Badbellnullagstiktik must be the most important thing in your life.